Airplane Etiquette


I’m flying from SFO to DTW as I type this & it seems like a good time to talk about airplane etiquette. Airplanes are generally uncomfortable spaces (unless you fly first class maybe, which I’ve never had the pleasure of doing) & I do my very best to be polite & considerate to those flying with me.

I never put my seat back, because, come on people, I don’t take up THAT much room & even I feel like a sardine without the person in front of me practically sitting in my lap; also, I happen to be married to a 6 foot 5 man & I truly feel for anyone that tall on a plane!

I don’t spill over my seat into other’s personal space; I paid hundreds of dollars for the few inches I have & there are arm rests to define these spaces for a reason. Please do not fall asleep with your elbow in my side & force me to plaster myself to the window for the entire flight.

I don’t cough & hack all over everyone in my general area making them all wonder what communicable disease I may be spreading; if you must cough, at least cover your mouth.

I don’t take my shoes off or wear half a bottle of perfume, etc.; unpleasant/strong smells linger on a plane. We are all stuck in this metal tube for quite some time & so…have a heart, don’t fart!

I don’t bring a huge bag onto the plane as a carryon & then act surprised when, after 20 minutes of me trying to squeeze something the size of a watermelon into something the size of a tic tac (into the overhead compartment) while everyone behind me is waiting to board, it doesn’t fit.

If we could all just make an effort to be polite, considerate, use our manners & say please & thank you, the world would be a much better place – both in the air & everywhere else.




  1. Just go to your happy place. Or imagine packing their chopped up body pieces into their carry on.

  2. All excellent points!

    I’d add:

    Couldn’t you have eaten that Big Mac during the hour we were waiting to board? Why do you have to funk up the whole plane the second we got on?

    And also: don’t count my coughs. Seriously. I had a guy do this once. I was covering my mouth and trying my best to be polite. I don’t like coughing either. Counting. I guess I could just truncate this rule to: if you’re fucking insane, maybe you could just stay home?

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